Would we ever be the same?
by Mydnyt
Summary: Okay, I suppose you could say this is a sequel to Why?. I just wrote it. Ideas have been in my head since Thursday and I finally let them go. This is also a personal kind of thing like Why. And sorry if there's any spelling mistakes. R&R?


It's 12 in the morning. This seems to be a daily (or nightly depending on how you look at it) ritual. Staying up late, unable to sleep even though I should be, there is school after all. But how can you sleep when you're not tired, so many thoughts running through your head? Most of those thoughts consisting of you. Lately, you've been the main topic of my thoughts. Thinking if you miss me, miss us, at all. If you ever wonder whether you did the right thing. Is what happened between us really worth what we've become. How did we become like this? How did we get here?

From being so close one day to being almost complete strangers the next. And all over a few weeks period of time. I thought things were going great. Apparently for you they weren't though. You obviously had different thoughts and different people influencing those thoughts. Yeah, I heard that you were thinking about breaking up with me, you were just convinced to by a friend. The person who had said that she told you to ask me out in the first place. I don't get it. I really don't. One minute she tells you to ask me out, we're great, she and I are friends, then the next minute you and I are falling apart, she hates me and I don't get any of it. I feel as though someone's telling me a story yet they're leaving out so many details.  
You told me that you were breaking up with me because it didn't feel like we were going out, that you were confused, you'd probably be single for a while. I thought you were telling the truth. Yeah, you were so confused and single for so long that three days later you had to go and get a new girlfriend. And not just anyone but your ex. Good to know that I wasn't good enough for you. Good to know which of us you really love. And when we came back to school from Christmas Break, I avoided you, honestly I did. I couldn't bear to be around you. It hurt too much. Honestly, I knew that it was childish thing to do but it's what I had to do. I was hurt and I didn't want that pain intensified by being around you. When I passed by you in the hall that one time, I just stared straight ahead as though I hadn't seen you. And honestly, as I walked by, my heart started beating faster, I felt like I wanted to run. When I reached the classroom I was shaking. I honestly wanted to break down crying. Same as when I was walking behind your new girlfriend in the hall earlier that week. It just hurt so much. And the next day, when I saw you up ahead in the same spot as you were the say before, I turned around and walked to the classroom another way. Sure, some of my friends called me chicken but it's what I had to do.

And when I actually saw you with her the next week, it killed me inside. It hurt so much to see you with her. And when I passed by her in the hallway I literally wanted to break down crying. You passed me in the hallway, and I knew you knew I was there because our friend said hi to me and you were walking with her. When you didn't say hi to me or even look at me, I felt hurt. Words couldn't express the way I felt. I wanted to crawl into a hole a die. Why would you be ignoring me? You're the one who hurt me. I felt that I was the one with the reason to ignore you, that you had no right to ignor me. But I talked to you this week. I didn't avoid you. I even hugged you. Unfortunately, that brought back so many memories. And then, as the week came to a close, it seemed you started to ignore me again. You started hanging out with one of your friends. Maybe it was because our friend wasn't there and I usually saw you with her which gave me an opportunity so say something to you.

And now I learn that you were only thinking of breaking up with me and then your friend convinced you to. And not just any friend, but the friend that convinced you to ask me out in the first place. I mean, I know she gradually started to hate me but to have her convince you to break up with me? I didn't know she hated me that much. I've thought about ways to ask you about it but I haven't found the right way yet. Who knows if I ever will? I sometimes wonder if we'd still be together if she had never convinced you to break up with me.

I miss how you'd come up to me and hug me whether our friends were around or not. I miss our long hugs. I miss how you'd hold me in your arms; how you felt in my arms. I miss how we'd hold hands, our fingers laced together. Or how you'd hug me from behind with your arms around my waist, blowing gently in my ear. I miss the way you'd kiss me. I miss everything we were.

I hate what we've become. We're like strangers; people that never knew eachother. Honestly, how did we get here? How did we become this? I thought we had agreed to stay friends. I tell you that I'm always here for you, that I'm here if you ever need to talk but you only seem to talk when I ask you to and you never say very much. It kills me. And it kills me to see you with her.

Things seem to be changing and I really don't like the way they're going.

Will we ever be the same?

Will we ever be what we once were?


End file.
